Jesus is born!
Merry Christmas!

Lets not forget the true meaning if Christmas.
No not presents, and buying useless crap.
It is about our Savior being born!

The Christmas Story

As told by Matthew

The Nativity

    This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

    But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

    All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"--which means, "God with us."

    When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Wise Men

    After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."

    When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written: "'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'" Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."

    After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.


    On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

    When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him."

Fleeing to Egypt

    So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Out of Egypt I called my son."

    When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: "A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more."

    After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead."

    So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets: "He will be called a Nazarene."

        --Matthew 1:18 - 2:23 New International Version

baking bucket list yah
My baking bucket list (not cooking-will post later??)

crème brûlée
Red Velvet Cake
Sour Dough Bread
Ice cream cake
Angelfood cake
Apple Fritters
graham crackers
Chocolate mousse
Vanilla Ice cream
Pull apart bread
English Muffins
Puff Pastry or phyllo dough
Lady fingers

and the list goes on.

Ok so it is Christmas eve...yay.... don't feel like writing.

Starting up again

My beloved Livejournal (exaggeration)
I really want to express my feelings somehow without bottling it all up like I have been recently.
I have also been struggling with eating lately.
Skipping meals, hiding some of my breakfast & trying to not eat fatty food.
I just want to be thin!! I am 5 ft 2, 105 lbs & I feel fat! yet i know i am not!!

Does that even make sense?
Top it off I haven't had the best of luck lately.
I have been binging & restricting, my laptops battery is fried,
getting no hours at work & i want the $$, my one year younger sister (who works at the same place as me Tim Hortons)
Got 28hours!!! And me??? hardly any.

I want to work during Christmas break, so I am distracted & not at home where I will EAT!!

Fuck I hate my life right now.
Top it off my parents are always telling me what to do. Damn it I am almost 17!!!

Tomorrow I have a french class food party-but I don't want to eat!!!

So this journal is pretty much a spot where I can rant & post random stuff. But hey, it's not like anyone cares anyways.
My self esteem is low right now.
I just want to live on my own, make my own decisions.
First-I want to eat 2000 calories-but MY way (vegan, healthy!! & stuff i LIKE)
Not what my parents make me eat!!
Second I want to travel all over the world, I mean if I die from anorexia, I want to die having experienced some of my life.
Thirdly- I want to recover, I do not want to count calories all the time!!
This is soooo hard.
It's Christmas time & I don't feel like it is Christmas.
Oh I hate cold & snow, I want to go back to Holland allready.

Lastly-I haven't had any exercise lately, ugh.
Skating has been cancelled for the next two weeks.
I live in the country so no gym & its too cold & yucky to run and my parents wont let me run.
I rode my horse yesterday, I failed at that,
Failure, I am a failure.



** not my own. I realize now (a year later) i forgot to inlude the source

Borderline Personality Disorder

A brief overview that focuses on the symptoms, treatments, and research findings. (2001).

a woman’s face and its reflection

Raising questions, finding answers

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation. While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women.1 There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases.2,3 Patients often need extensive mental health services, and account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations.4 Yet, with help, many improve over time and are eventually able to lead productive lives.


While a person with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day.5 These may be associated with episodes of impulsive aggression, self-injury, and drug or alcohol abuse. Distortions in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values. Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.


Treatments for BPD have improved in recent years. Group and individual psychotherapy are at least partially effective for many patients. Within the past 15 years, a new psychosocial treatment termed dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was developed specifically to treat BPD, and this technique has looked promising in treatment studies.6 Pharmacological treatments are often prescribed based on specific target symptoms shown by the individual patient. Antidepressant drugs and mood stabilizers may be helpful for depressed and/or labile mood. Antipsychotic drugs may also be used when there are distortions in thinking.7

Recent Research Findings

Although the cause of BPD is unknown, both environmental and genetic factors are thought to play a role in predisposing patients to BPD symptoms and traits. Studies show that many, but not all individuals with BPD report a history of abuse, neglect, or separation as young children.8 Forty to 71 percent of BPD patients report having been sexually abused, usually by a non-caregiver.9 Researchers believe that BPD results from a combination of individual vulnerability to environmental stress, neglect or abuse as young children, and a series of events that trigger the onset of the disorder as young adults. Adults with BPD are also considerably more likely to be the victim of violence, including rape and other crimes. This may result from both harmful environments as well as impulsivity and poor judgement in choosing partners and lifestyles.

NIMH-funded neuroscience research is revealing brain mechanisms underlying the impulsivity, mood instability, aggression, anger, and negative emotion seen in BPD. Studies suggest that people predisposed to impulsive aggression have impaired regulation of the neural circuits that modulate emotion.10 The amygdala, a small almond-shaped structure deep inside the brain, is an important component of the circuit that regulates negative emotion. In response to signals from other brain centers indicating a perceived threat, it marshals fear and arousal. This might be more pronounced under the influence of drugs like alcohol, or stress. Areas in the front of the brain (pre-frontal area) act to dampen the activity of this circuit. Recent brain imaging studies show that individual differences in the ability to activate regions of the prefrontal cerebral cortex thought to be involved in inhibitory activity predict the ability to suppress negative emotion.11

Serotonin, norepinephrine and acetylcholine are among the chemical messengers in these circuits that play a role in the regulation of emotions, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and irritability. Drugs that enhance brain serotonin function may improve emotional symptoms in BPD. Likewise, mood-stabilizing drugs that are known to enhance the activity of GABA, the brain's major inhibitory neurotransmitter, may help people who experience BPD-like mood swings. Such brain-based vulnerabilities can be managed with help from behavioral interventions and medications, much like people manage susceptibility to diabetes or high blood pressure.7

Future Progress

Studies that translate basic findings about the neural basis of temperament, mood regulation, and cognition into clinically relevant insights which bear directly on BPD represent a growing area of NIMH-supported research. Research is also underway to test the efficacy of combining medications with behavioral treatments like DBT, and gauging the effect of childhood abuse and other stress in BPD on brain hormones. Data from the first prospective, longitudinal study of BPD, which began in the early 1990s, is expected to reveal how treatment affects the course of the illness. It will also pinpoint specific environmental factors and personality traits that predict a more favorable outcome. The Institute is also collaborating with a private foundation to help attract new researchers to develop a better understanding and better treatment for BPD.

Writer's Block: And the Apple Goes To
Who is/was your favorite teacher in school?
I though I knew, but then I thought....what about...
Anyways, my fave teachers are Mrs. Van Veghel because she has taught me to play the flute, but then again my other fave teacher is Juf Monique because she played the flute and she always let us colour.

If you could only eat one kind of cuisine—Mexican, Thai, French, Italian, Indian, Chinese, etc.—for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
It's just after 10 pm and I am officially bored!! No one's on msn, except for Mark and Carly. Only Jordan and Amber are on Facebook. I have no one to text because they never text back :(  And worse-I'm eating chocolate covered peanuts (only a handfull), which is very uncommon for me. I'm not stressed out-or am I??
I haven't done much writing lately-very unusual!!!!
I'm not sure why I am writing this all on livejournal but I am writing it anyways.
Here's a random peom

My name is Judith
I don't always fit in
I am not always polite
You smile and I'll smile
I am different, unique and not creative at all

Lol, that's BAD!!!!

My sister is watching REBA on TV, I love the fact that Reba is friends with Barbra Jean, her ex husband's wife. The show puts a different perspective of divorce. Everyone seems to be divorcing these days.Why?? Can't they trie to figure out their issues, I mean every married couple will have "issues". My all the time!!!! But they still love each other, at least that's what they tell me.
Okay, this is it for now.


Fave TV Shows :) !!!!!!!!
I am bored so I will yet again post another list!!!!

(In no order)

-The Innocence Project   (yes Oliver James is in this one, but that is not the only reason why I like this show. it's kind of like CSI, but doesn't actually show what happens, and they're not trying to catch the one who did it, but they prove people innocent, or sometimes guilty.)

Wild Roses-Horses, Scandal, Sex, Drama, etc..great show

-Heartland!!!! No explanation needed

-Degrassi The Next Generation, I like this show because it's about teen issues, some things I might have to face in the future or have already faced.  This show is somewhat like Degrassi

Fave Movies!!! (to continue the fave lists!) :)
I really dont watch many movies, but I do have my faves!
My number one movie has to be
#1 Raise Your Voice

My number 2, a completely different kind of movie than number one
Thicker Than Water

And number 3, is a fun, funny movie
Confessions of a Shopaholic

And there are more movies I like, but I can't remember what they're called

My fave actresses
(idea taken from my bestie)

MY #1 Fave actress in the who wide fuckin world surprise here,

She can play so many character and she's really talented. When I watch her in a movie, she's not Hilary Duff, but the character that she's playing. (and she's always smiling :) and she's an amazing singer!)


She plays Beth in a British series called 'The Innocence Project' (yes, Oliver James plays Nick in the same series)

  1. In Her Skin (2009) .... Caroline Reid
  2. "Plus One" .... Laura (5 episodes, 2009)
        - One Love (2009) TV episode .... Laura
        - The Competition Winner (2009) TV episode .... Laura
        - See It in a Boy's Lies (2009) TV episode .... Laura
        - Black and White and Red All Over (2009) TV episode .... Laura
        - I Do a Lot of Work for Charity (2009) TV episode .... Laura
  3. "Rásaí na Gaillimhe" (2009) TV series
  4. Alarm (2008)
  5. Comedy Showcase: Plus One (2007) (TV) .... Laura
  6. "The Innocence Project" .... Beth / ... (8 episodes, 2006-2007)
        - Episode #1.8 (2007) TV episode .... Beth
        - Episode #1.7 (2007) TV episode .... Beth McNair
        - Episode #1.6 (2007) TV episode .... Beth
        - Episode #1.5 (2006) TV episode .... Beth
        - Episode #1.4 (2006) TV episode .... Beth
          (3 more)
  7. "Legend" .... Jacinta (6 episodes, 2006)
        - Episode #1.6 (2006) TV episode .... Jacinta
        - Episode #1.5 (2006) TV episode .... Jacinta
        - Episode #1.4 (2006) TV episode .... Jacinta
        - Episode #1.3 (2006) TV episode .... Jacinta
        - Episode #1.2 (2006) TV episode .... Jacinta
          (1 more)
  8. Flyboys (2006) .... Laura
  9. "Stardust" (2006) TV mini-series .... Antoinette Keegan
  10. "The Golden Hour" .... Erin Cooper (1 episode, 2005)
        - Episode #1.2 (2005) TV episode .... Erin Cooper
  11. Showbands (2005) (TV) .... Maggie
  12. "Love Is the Drug" .... Brenda (4 episodes, 2004)
        - Episode #1.4 (2004) TV episode .... Brenda
        - Episode #1.3 (2004) TV episode .... Brenda
        - Episode #1.2 (2004) TV episode .... Brenda
        - Episode #1.1 (2004) TV episode .... Brenda
  13. "The Clinic" .... Moya Cassidy (3 episodes, 2003)
        - Episode #1.7 (2003) TV episode .... Moya Cassidy
        - Episode #1.6 (2003) TV episode .... Moya Cassidy
        - Episode #1.5 (2003) TV episode .... Moya Cassidy
  14. "Ultimate Force" .... Georgia Gracey (1 episode, 2002)
        - The Killing of a One-Eyed Bookie (2002) TV episode .... Georgia Gracey
  15. Sinners (2002) (TV) .... Angela
    ... aka The Magdalen Laundry (Ireland: English title)

#3.....I don't have a number 3


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